"We've heard that today is World Spay Day, so we're headed to the clinic. We are going to tell all those cats and dogs what needs to be done. They won't be happy, but we definitely don't need more of their kind around to chase us all over the place. As for us, we intend to just breed like rabbits." [2011]
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Genoa, Italy
"I am more than a figure head. I am more than a Pirates movie star. My crown is real. I am Neptune, God of the ocean realm. You can recognize me by my trident. True, my enemies, Christianity and science, have relegated me to hanging under this bowsprit, but my friends, history and art, assure me of a gilded future." [2008]
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Cabo San Lucas, Baja California Sur, Mexico
"You may call me Señor Frog. I welcome you to my restaurants. I guarantee you will have a good time, especially if you are thirsty 😉. After establishing myself in Mexico's resort cities, I began bringing a little Mexican culture to other playful places. 'So, this is what Mexico is like,' Americans exclaim as they are leaving my pads in Las Vegas and Orlando." [2016]
Friday, February 24, 2017
Chesapeake, Virginia, USA
"I work on the trails here in the park. Some people look at me askance and call me a hayseed. If I only had a heart, I could be their friend. In fact, I'd be friends with the sparrows and the boy that shoots the arrows, if I only had a heart. By the way, do you know my friend the tin man?" [2016]
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Beatty, Nevada, USA
"I work in the mines, but right now I am on my lunch break. If I only had a brain, I'd be looking for a better job. You know, I could be another Lincoln if I only had a brain. By the way, do you know my friend, the scarecrow?" [2016]
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Summerville, South Carolina, USA
"I tried my best to keep this joint open. Could it be that I am just not porky enough? Maybe they should have hired a fatter pig for the job. Or, maybe that's how I got this job: I didn't have enough meat on my bones to butcher." [2012]
Monday, February 20, 2017
Woodstown, New Jersey, USA
"Don't worry. I have an open-carry permit. I try to bring a little Western-style law and order to New Jersey's own Cowtown. The farmers markets here are usually quiet, but when the rodeos start in May, I'll have more to do. Actually, I don't have a badge, but I do command respect." [2017]
Sunday, February 19, 2017
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
"I have been showing up at UT games since 1953, ever since I set myself apart by howling like a real bluetick coon hound during auditions for a school mascot. And, yes, I am a close friend of Peyton Manning. Right now, though, I am off duty and maybe have had a little to much to drink here along 'The Strip' in Knoxville." [2016]
Friday, February 17, 2017
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Rhyolite, Nevada, USA
"Greetings! I am the Venus of Nevada, and I preside over the rhyolite flows of the Amargosa Desert. Actually, though, I enjoyed the island of Milo in the Aegean much more than this place. And, I rather preferred the flowing lines that Botticelli gave me, rather than Dr. Heyrman's 3-D pixels." [2016]
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
King George, Virginia, USA
"I'm Humble, Vibrant, Attractive, and Charming, otherwise known as HVAC. On this day after everyone has exchanged Valentines, I am still looking for a friend and soul mate. I've got a good job, but I have become so wed to my work, I am not sure who I am independent of what I do for a living. Anyone else have the same problem?" [2010]
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Yerevan, Armenia
"Here we are in front of a Converse store, and we don't have anything on our feet. Wait, we don't even have feet. Guess we shouldn't audition to be a Converse Couple, but at least we have each other on this Valentine's Day." [2015]
Monday, February 13, 2017
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Antwerp, Belgium
"People all over Flanders look up to me. I am Lange Wapper, the Flemish giant. Perhaps you know my cousins, Finn McCool, the Irish giant; Benandonner, the Scottish giant; and Cormoran, the Cornish giant. Alas, Cormoran is no more. He was killed by a boy named Jack centuries ago. Hey you guys, either one of you named Jack?" [2015]
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Horley, England, UK
"I am here to remind you of two things. First, your body is 60% water. Second, you need lots of milk for healthy bones and muscles. So, empty those water and milk bottles, and expand the population of bottle sculptures. I'm just hoping that members of the next generation have better heads on their shoulders than I do." [2015]
Friday, February 10, 2017
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Bangkok, Thailand
"I may not look like I'm worried, but I am beside myself! I don't think I look like a Smurf, but every time Azrael sees something smurfy blue he pounces! Azrael was last seen in Bulgaria, but I hear he is making his way east looking for those harmless Smurfs. I am not a Smurf!" [2016]
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Brussels, Belgium
Ha! Ha! Azrael thinks we're in Bulgaria, but we never left Belgium. The problem is we don't know where Gargamel is. So, just to err on the cautious side, we have gone into hiding by going white. No smurfy blue brows here. We'll never be recognized! [2015]
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Gabrovo, Bulgaria
"Shhh. I am going to tell you a secret. I'm Azrael in disguise. I heard the Smurfs were in Bulgaria, and I suspect they've been drawn to Gabrovo because its the humor capital. So, I've stationed myself in the bus terminal, thinking that a perfect place for a termination would be a terminal. He-He. Once I see those smurfy blue brows, I'll pounce." [2014]
Monday, February 6, 2017
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Friday, February 3, 2017
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Edenton, North Carolina, USA
"Don't worry. Be happy. I am here to protect you, just so long as I have a fire engine pulling up alongside. Since I am doing nothing at the moment, though, I was chosen to lead the parade of memorable creatures that have been invited to appear on Geographically Yours during the month of February." [1985]